How do you get over a love breakdown?
Ever since things ended between you, you've had the impression that the sky has fallen and you see everything in a negative light. After the tears and the pain, the sleepless nights and the days of depression under the duvet, it's time to take action to get over the heartache.
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A love shame can leave you in a whirl. Between heartbreak, depression, anger and resignation, we have no choice but to deal with it. Here's some invaluable advice on bouncing back after a heartbreak.
HEARTACHE: A SIGN TO MOVE ON
Love connections aren't supposed to cause us pain, they're supposed to bring us happiness. If we are suffering, it's because the other person, the problems in the relationship, etc., are no longer right for us. And to evolve in our connections, it's best to mourn the past, to better face the future.
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Once self-esteem has been restored, it's easier to think about future relationships, to demand greater happiness and to avoid the mistakes of the past. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not just a line in Jenifer's song, but originally a thought by Nietzsche, the "medical philosopher" of states of mind. By building on suffering and pain, we can avoid them in the future.
LOVE IRRITATION: THE STEPS TO GET OVER IT
Still not convinced? Here's a short list of things you can do to put your mind at rest and get out of your sadness.
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- Tell yourself that it's getting here for everyone
Whether you're coming out of a short or long relationship, heartbreak can happen to anyone. Even the best of us. Rest assured, you're not the only one in this situation and the world is full of singles with whom you could start a good spell.
- Question yourself
Have you just broken up? So you've got a lot more time on your hands! So once you've got past the hatred you feel for him, the urge to throw away all his belongings, tear up all the images of the couple and point the finger of blame at him for the failure of this relationship, take a moment to reflect. Try to understand how your peer ended in failure, what went wrong. A peer is built by two people. So for your part, ask yourself to what extent you contributed to this love wreck.
- Take care of yourself
Have you been letting yourself go in your daily life and on your head? Head straight for the hairdresser! You'll see how nice it is to be pampered. There's nothing better than taking care of yourself when your proclaim goes wrong.
- Go out with your girlfriends
No more candlelit dinners? Well, too bad! You can still make the most of it by organising a sleepover at home, for example. And you'll see, the love shame will pass more quickly. Soon you'll even be able to experience the joys of being single: doing what you want, when you want. As the saying goes: better alone than badly accompanied.
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- Cultivate your interests
Have you given up yoga classes, painting or running? Make the most of it. And even if you don't feel like it at first, force yourself to take two steps outside! Go back to what you liked to do before becoming a peer, which can sometimes be quite routine!
- Take time to grieve
There's no need to throw yourself headlong into the dating scene or even to have a series of one-night stands. Even if you don't want to hear it, you're suffering from a love shame and you need to digest it! To avoid always going out with the same kind of man, it's crucial to take the time to mourn your love. Because, yes, a tear is indeed a mourning: the mourning of a relationship.
- Empty the house of your belongings
Get yourself a container and clear out all the things left of him, unless you've already thrown them out of the window in a fit of anger. When the heartache has passed, you can re-open the container and decide what to do with it in peace.
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- Move on to something else
When you finally feel ready and can rise above your sadness, it's time to move on to new adventures. Build a secure relationship or stay single, it's up to you.